


Reality

by wildandflowering



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildandflowering/pseuds/wildandflowering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Sano.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He inhales a little sharply, suddenly wondering if Shinpachi can read his thoughts.  “Yeah.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’d come with me, right?”</i>
</p><p>Second fill for a tumblr meme prompt, "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

  * For [endgame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/endgame/gifts).



Something wakes Sano, though he’s not sure what it is at first, only that it takes his eyes a few long seconds to adjust to the darkness. But soon enough, the moonlight casting everything in a cool glow gives him enough to go on. There’s a dark figure sitting next to his futon and Sano immediately pushes himself up, ready to fight if he has to.

“Shit, chill, it’s just me, it’s just me.”

A familiar voice, and now that Sano is even more awake, that silhouette is all too recognizable. Shinpachi, of course. He sighs, the sudden effort of waking up catching up to him in a rush. “Do you gotta do this in the middle of the night?”

“…Can’t sleep.”

Sano absolutely could, and he lies back down. Maybe Shinpachi would get the hint to resume…whatever this is in the morning, but he has a feeling it won’t be that easy. He lifts a hand to his hair and threads his fingers through it, trying to keep himself awake. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“Tch. What isn’t, these days?” Shinpachi falls quiet for a few moments, then lies down himself, unceremoniously using Sano’s stomach as a pillow. Sano _could_ protest, but there’d be no point in it. He doesn’t really mind to begin with and it’s clear that Shinpachi needs to vent. Though hopefully more quietly than he usually does, considering the time. “I mean, besides our luck. That’s basically gone downhill.”

This conversation again. Sano’s sure it’s going to go in the same direction it usually does. “Yeah, well. Us Shieikan kids have a reputation of being dirt broke to uphold, right?”

But the way Shinpachi turns his head to look at him, the corners of his mouth almost turned down, Sano immediately knows his humor isn’t appreciated. “That isn’t it. It’s all this…all this other shit. Heisuke. Kondou-san not knowing what the hell he’s doing anymore. Everything, really.” Shinpachi looks back up at the ceiling. “I’m thinkin’ that thing again, Sano.”

That thing. Sano’s heard it before. He doesn’t speak right away, just reaches down to tug lightly on Shinpachi’s hair. “That thing’s gonna get you in trouble.”

“Lesser of the two evils, to be honest.”

Sano breathes out a laugh, the exertion causing Shinpachi’s head to bob up quickly on his stomach. Shinpachi may not be wrong in his assessment; he usually isn’t. But to hear Kondou lumped into a group of evils by one of his own friends is…harsh. All Sano can do is laugh to keep from falling too deep in thought about it right along with Shinpachi. It’s too late at night to get into this conversation, but he’s already here. It’s too late in that sense, as well. 

As much as he hates to admit, though, Shinpachi is right. Things have gone to hell, they’ve _been_ going to hell, and as the days go on, it’s getting harder and harder to think that the Shinsengumi will get out of this war in one piece, scarred enough as it already is. The smart thing would be to save their own asses and try another route, but then what of their friends? What of everything they’ve already worked for? Is it really right to just abandon them because things have gotten really hard? 

“Sano.”

He inhales a little sharply, suddenly wondering if Shinpachi can read his thoughts. “Yeah.”

“You’d come with me, right?”

It’s a question he’s heard before, more than once, and every time Sano’s answered in the affirmative. There’s no question about it, Shinpachi’s his best friend and best friends have to stick together, right? But the closer they get to the reality of such a thought – abandonment, desertion, whatever the proper term is – the harder it is to know what he’d really do. Theoretically, the answer is easy. But when it comes down to it…

“’Cause you’re the only guy I want watchin’ my back.”

…Reality is always harder. Reality always has difficult choices and at the end of the day, someone’s going to be hurt or upset and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Kondou and the others are dear to Sano, of course, but so is Shinpachi.

Who is the lesser of two evils?

“…Don’t worry. I know you’ve always got mine, in turn.”

\---

When it comes down to it, Sano’s back is fine. It’s his side that’s causing problems now, blood pouring from the wound despite his hand pressing against it. 

Shinpachi is somewhere far away, hopefully in Aizu by now, hopefully getting something accomplished, unlike what Sano’s been reduced to. Maybe he never should have gone back to Edo. He should have just left this entire mess to Shiranui. Demons are better suited to not getting screwed over by normal bullets anyway. But hindsight is always crystal clear and Sano hadn’t had any idea that Shiranui was even going to be around when he got word that Edo was in danger of being devoured, basically.

He doesn’t regret helping take out the rasetsu. He doesn’t regret protecting all those innocent people.

But gods, does he regret that this is going to be his last stop on the road. And Shinpachi won’t even know for days, weeks to come. 

He turns his head to his right to see Shiranui sitting beside him, quiet and still for once, pensive, like he’s all too aware of what’s going to happen now. Well, it wouldn’t take a genius. But even though Sano is somewhat glad to not be alone, he wishes it were Shinpachi beside him now. He leans his head back against the tree and closes his eyes – probably not the best idea in his condition, admittedly – and thinks so, so hard, in some vain hope that Shinpachi could hear him through their bond of friendship. Or something.

_I don’t want to go without you._

It’s stupid, he knows, but surely he can get away with some stupidity and wishful thinking. There’s not much time for anything else in his life, after all. Can’t he be a little selfish?

_I just want to see you again._

“Harada.” Shiranui’s voice is still strong, still loud in Sano’s ears, and yet there’s something softer about it now. Sano opens his eyes again – it takes a little longer to do than it normally should – and meets Shiranui’s expectant gaze. “Still with us, then.”

Sano’s lips curl into a pained smile. “For now.” There’s no denying it. He doesn’t have much time left, but he still needs to get in touch with Shinpachi somehow. He needs to be with him. Or he at least needs to know that his best friend will learn of the truth. 

Just the thought of becoming another casualty is actually terrifying, even if he isn’t particularly interested in being remembered in the history books. He won’t ever see Shinpachi again, as much as he desperately sends his thoughts and wishes out toward Aizu. But maybe…

His spear lies on the ground, blood coating the blade and fresh nicks from swords and bullets marring the wood, but it’s arguably his possession that has the most of his soul left in it and is something he knows Shinpachi would recognize from a mile away. Sano reaches for the weapon, numb fingers fumbling with it before he drags it up to rest on his shoulder. “Shiranui.” The name comes out breathless. “I need you…to do something for me.”

Sano won’t be able to go to Aizu. But perhaps a piece of him will.

**Author's Note:**

> oops I did it again
> 
> I swear I can write happy endings for him


End file.
